Are You Living Out Your Values or Are You a Walking Contradiction?featured

I used to think being a walking contradiction was a good thing. I would tell people that was the best way to describe me – Contradictory. I say one thing but I really mean another. I thought giving people this disclaimer would be enough of an excuse. But is it?

I will be honest, I don’t usually say the right words. That’s why I am a writer.

I have always wondered why I am sometimes misunderstood. My heart is always in the right place, and in my mind, I am a kind and thoughtful person, but that’s not always what I make people feel.

At 31, I have had serious time to reflect on this and I always figured I would someday get better at making others feel what I already feel inside. I will get better magically, I thought…One day I will just wake up and BOOM! All my communication challenges will dissipate and I will be understood by all of humanity.

But the other day I read an article that made me question if I don’t always say the right words or act in the right way (at least not in the way I intend) because my actions are not aligned with values. Hmm, food for thought.

I started to wonder what my values were.

I know companies have values but what about me? Do I have any? And if I have them what are the fancy names for them? Should I write them out? Get them tattooed somewhere? Or at least keep them on a sticky note somewhere?

Maybe Google can help.

My dad always told me, “Remember Your Mission.” If you asked me what the mission was as a kid I would look at you with a blank stare, yet those words guided everything I did. If I wanted to get a good grade on a test, that was the mission, if I wanted to be a better friend, that was the mission.  Looking back, I know he meant to work hard and stay true to what you believe in and you will accomplish all of your goals.

With my “mission” always in sight, powerful values have always led the way. But the older I get, the more important it becomes to me to act out those values consistently.

So did Google tell me what my values were? No.

But I do have a general idea of what has always guided me: Hard Work, Growth, Compassion, Health, and Helpfulness. When in doubt, I have turned to these values … but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t turn to them when making everyday decisions.

When interacting with my partner or friends, I can always ask myself: Does what I am about to say or do align with my values? If not, maybe don’t say or do it.

Your values should definitely not just guide your big decisions, they should also guide the seemingly small ones. They can be your compass for how you want to make others feel and how you ultimately end up impacting this world in the biggest of ways.

Living in alignment with your personal values isn’t always easy, it sometimes means making serious sacrifices or holding your tongue when your inner verbal vomit wants to make a surprise appearance.

And that’s okay.

Just take a deep breath, catch yourself, and remind yourself what you stand for and how you want to impact this world.

So maybe claiming I am a walking contradiction shouldn’t be a badge I wear with honor. It shouldn’t be a disclaimer I use as an excuse to be an asshole.

The truth is if I constantly align my big, and seemingly small, decisions with my core values, I will never need to make up excuses for myself. I will never need to apologize for unintentionally doing something because every one of my actions will be filled with intention.

So, what about you? Are you living out your values or are you a walking contradiction?

Love Deeply and Forever,

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