While I may have had a more real 2024 than I would have liked, I am surrounded with endless love and support and for that I am grateful. A shoutout to my small but mighty inner circle, you know who you are.

So, let’s dive into today’s topic – gifts!

‘Tis the season to show the people you care about that you love them and appreciate them. Many of the holidays celebrated around this time of year tend to have gifts involved, big or small items to let others know they matter to you.

I have been told on several occasions that I am the best “gift-receiver” ever. Yes, you heard right, I am an expert at receiving things.

No matter what it is, I have always appreciated gifts; to me, they mean that someone somewhere was thinking about me while I was not around. That, to me, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

It’s never been about the monetary value of a gift to me – the simplest trinket or card means the world to me. If you have ever seen me open a gift, you know that my entire face lights up every time I open one and I usually have some over-the-top expression. And it is always a genuine reaction.

I can’t say I am a wonderful gift-giver though. I tend to save the gifts for holidays or birthdays and sometimes I am at a loss of what to get people simply because most of the people I know have everything they need. So my approach lately has been to gift people practical things that often make my life easier or bring me joy. They may love these things too, I think to myself.

And while I think it is so sweet to gift people things, this idea is not a universal truth. Not everyone loves gifts.

I talked to a good friend of mine recently and they told me that they feel awkward receiving gifts, that they often wonder why people gift them things that are just not their style, and that they sometimes feel offended at the thing they receive or feel obligated to express that they love it even when they hate it.

I was so shocked to hear that they don’t love receiving things as much as I do.

How could that be?

You’re telling me that some people’s love languages do not include gifts?!

And the answer is yes.

Some people hate receiving gifts. They may think it (a gift) is a power play, that it is wasteful, that they have to react a certain way or reciprocate, that it literally represents the way someone views them, that they are undeserving of it, or they may simply hate being the center of attention for any reason. I can’t relate to any of the above but these are just some of the potential gift-receiving lenses.

We all come with our personal baggage and that is perfectly okay. And gifts are not everyone’s love language.

I am sharing this with you today because my mind was blown when I learned this and it helped me understand some of the less-than-ideal reactions my gifts have been met with.

I don’t gift things so that I get something back (so please don’t ever feel obligated to give me a gift back). I gift things because I like to let people think I am thinking of them. This is not the case for all gift-givers nor is it something clear to all all my gift-receivers.

I will continue giving small gifts to the people I love but I will be more mindful of the type of gifts I pick out for them based on their personality traits and how I have seen them react to gifts in the past.

And to the people who don’t see all gifts as something positive – I invite you to try and open your heart to view gifts as simple gestures rather than material items with a deeper meaning. While you may have been gifted the ugliest scarf you have ever seen, the person who picked it likely really loved it and thought you may love it as much as they did when they picked it out for you.

It’s not usually my style, but lately, I have asked and been asked, “What do you really want for your birthday?” and I have responded honestly and received honest responses which has made gift-giving and gift-receiving a lot more enjoyable for all parties involved. This may not be true for all people, but some may appreciate being considered.

The point of the story here is: Everyone is different and unique when it comes to gifting and what brings value to one person may bring anxiety to the next.

Be as mindful as you can be this holiday season and consider the receiver’s perspective when on the hunt for a gift especially for them. It may be that they prefer being gifted more quality time with you or a nice note of gratitude instead of another “thing.” And to the gift-receivers of the world, please know that the gift-giver did their best even if it doesn’t land with you as well as they may have intended.

Love Deeply and Forever,

The post Why I Love Gifts But Other People May Hate Them – Gift-Givers Beware appeared first on Millennial Mouth.

I am not traveling the world,

or raising a baby human,

or discovering a novel molecule.

I have also not been exploring villas in the south of France, raising money for local charities, nor have I been busy running my 12th marathon.

I seriously have nothing going on at the moment. I work 5 days a week and find it a treat to have leftovers for lunch after cooking a big healthy dinner the night before. The real excitement in my life comes when I get to spend a whole Saturday watching scary movies with my 2 cats.

When people ask me how I have been, I often answer: “I have nothing to report.” Some people will smile and nod (and probably think I’m crazy) while others will try to dig deeper only to find out that I am literally just living my life and loving it exactly as it is.

And while you may not be able to relate to my seemingly steady life, there’s definitely some sort of life stuff going on that I can’t really explain during a passing conversation. Or to anyone who just genuinely doesn’t care what I am up to.

I just hit the 5-year mark in my marriage and I am learning what people mean when they say marriage is “hard.” No, I am not telling you I’m ready to give up, but I am telling you that you don’t need to see a therapist only when you hit rock bottom.

Having pets is a whole thing and veterinarians are super expensive – I am also not sure if holistic cat doctors exist, but if you know of one, please let me know.

Going to psychics can be fun but also can open doors you may have wished stayed closed.

Coordinating small, casual get-togethers amongst friends with completely different lives can be exhausting but also worth it.

And while I may sound like a crazy granola hippie when I say this, I’m going to say it anyway…

The one moment in my day when I feel the most joy is when I get to move my body. There’s a spiritual aspect to embodying all the energy already flowing within me.

When I get to move my body at the end of a long day, I feel the most alive, the most free, the most invincible. When I get to move my body, I feel strong, and capable – yet also the most vulnerable and afraid. It is only when I push through my personal barriers during my movement practices that I can shine a light on the unlimited power and resilience that my body houses – emotional, physical, and mental.

I can’t say I can relate to people who don’t like to move their bodies. Of course, this only applies to able-bodied humans, but where does all that energy and strength go if you don’t allow it to flow through you?

So, yes. I have nothing going on at the moment.

I haven’t survived a near-death experience nor have I gone sky-diving on my latest tropical vacation. I have, however, spent a week in the Mexican Riviera during hurricane season, and man, was that a soaking-wet helluva ride.

I have made really good use of my dental plan (not by choice but due to genetics) and I am really looking forward to getting bloodwork done before the end of the year. Ok, fine, one cool thing I did do over the last year was lose 40 pounds just by cooking dinner and removing most ultra-processed foods from my diet (so that explains the excitement about updated bloodwork).

While I have nothing going on at the moment it sure feels like it’s all going on all at once. Life is life-ing and I am an adult who has to pick up the mail every day. Some days the envelopes in the mailbox are scarier than on other days, but I think I will be ok.

I don’t have any crazy stories for you but I will say this: the people with the least going on at the moment sometimes feel the most overwhelmed at the moment, so be kind-hearted, be gentle with your words, and most importantly, do all the things that make you feel joy – they don’t have to be the topics of your next passing conversation but they should be things that make you smile on the inside.

Love Deeply and Forever,

The Girl With Nothing Going On at the Moment

The post I Got Nothing Going On at the Moment & Why That’s Totally Okay appeared first on Millennial Mouth.

I booked all the flights, the ridiculously lavish hotel… and I was mentally and physically (but what about emotionally?) ready to enjoy a weekend away with my favorite person in the world.

I was especially looking forward to this birthday because it happened to fall on a high school friend’s wedding weekend. I bought the ball gown and all the cute things you need to feel like a cute wedding guest. I am a master travel packer so my suitcase contained everything you would ever need on a trip: the walking shoes, the cocktail dress, the casual brunch cardigan, the mini Bluetooth speaker, the endless toiletries.

One key thing I forgot to pack was a heavy-duty survival kit for meeting up with Old Skeletons. Yes, the spooky kind that hide in the depths of your psychological closet [insert Eminem’s Cleanin’ Out My Closet song here] – the kind that you thought/hoped would ever come out to play with you again – especially on your birthday.

So, there I was… at an extra special welcome wedding party, partying like it was 2005, surrounded by lovely souls who forever impacted my life as we navigated high school together. The nostalgia in the air was so thick I could slurp it right up like a delicious vanilla shake at a Corvette Diner.

My skeletons showed up in the form of an unexpected conversation with a person I hadn’t seen in 15 years. I wished the college version of me was forgettable, but forgettable she was not.

Ahh yes, this lovely person from my past remembered my college skeletons all too well and the person attached to them all – little ol’ me.

As this person spoke to me, all the sounds at this rooftop party muted. I was smack dab in a scene out of a movie I desperately wanted to turn off before it got to the ending. They started talking to me about my skeletons and my eyes filled up with tears.

They said that their chance encounter with me and my skeletons all those years ago changed them forever – and not in the worst way. They told me that they empathized with the girl I was, that she seemed strong, and that they recognized the fact that she was surrounded by people who didn’t love or support her in the way that she deserved – and that she did indeed deserve it all.

This person went on to tell me that “none of it” was my fault and that I was not a bad person. I let out a heavy sigh, as if I had been holding my breath all these years under the impression that I indeed was “bad” because someone once told me and treated me like I was.

It was in this very moment on my 35th birthday that this person standing in front of me validated my entire negative experience as a young girl in a volatile relationship who truly believed love came in the form of someone’s potential.

My skeletons stood right beside me during this cathartic conversation – they held my hand and whispered: “We served our purpose, we were meant to be in your life, you can stop being afraid of us and hiding us, you can now dance with us.”

Suddenly this welcome party became more than I would have ever imagined while I was packing my casual brunch cardigan. These uninvited guests of mine reminded me that I was meant to be in this exact moment, on this exact day, showing up in this exact way.

I shed a lot of emotional weight in the hours that followed – tears showed up but they were the type of tears you’ve been swallowing for decades, the type that bring you relief and sweet comfort. These tears came after another human expressed they saw the good in me all along, skeletons or not. They validated an experience I was told was a mere figment of my imagination.

The power of having someone tell you, “It wasn’t your fault. You are not horrible. I don’t blame you for anything. You deserved better,” is the greatest gift anyone could ever get on a birthday.

Thank you to my skeletons, my friends – and friends of friends (past and present) for holding safe space for me to learn my own lessons, grow in my own way, and heal as a result of all of it.

I finally allowed my skeletons to stand by me, and even dance with me, rather than haunt me like they had been, because a friend of a friend told me my skeletons were not meant to be feared but rather embraced because they have the power to change people.

And while you may be sitting there thinking your darkness is meant to be hidden away never to be visited again… it’s only within that darkness that you can dig up some of the answers you have been searching for in the light for years.

So, go ahead, dig up your skeletons, and invite them to your birthday party or your friend’s wedding welcome party. Their attendance can lead you to the light.

The funny thing about skeletons is that they sometimes show up without notice to remind you not only of how far you have come, but also of how much further you have to go.

Love Deeply and Forever,

The post My Skeletons Came Out to Party Before Halloween & Here’s What I Did With Them appeared first on Millennial Mouth.

It burned down on a Monday while I was at work and my partner was able to run to the property only to see one last thing engulfed in flames – the stove.

And so, this story won’t make any sense unless I tell you a little about my partner. His greatest love in life is not me – I am ok with that as we are both fiercely independent humans with many passions.

His greatest love is making masterpieces out of the ugliest things. He sees potential in the untouched. He finds beauty is the most hideous of things, seriously – think of the most embarrassing car you’ve ever seen and he has probably owned it and made it his project at some point.

A couple of years went by after our Holy Jim cabin burned and we decided to start over, new location, new cabin, new start. It was hours and towns away from the first. It was a block away from the local fire station so we felt pretty confident New Cabin could never burn down.

My partner poured even more love into this cabin than the first. It became his renovation project dedicated to everyone that he loves.

A few Friday afternoons ago, I got a text that the Borel Fire was near our new cabin, “Pray for our cabin,” he said. Our property cameras showed everything on our property engulfed in flames, the garage, the old workshop – and then the cameras went black. We were sure the fire took New Cabin.

We mourned, cried, and took a mental inventory of all the beauty that went up in flames.

Days later, we got a text with photos of our cabin – proof that it was still standing, unscathed. We couldn’t wrap our heads around it.

What I didn’t mention was that the entire time we were mourning the loss of New Cabin I was more afraid of what a second burned beautification project would do to my mate. I was terrified I was about to mourn losing his bright light – I thought he might crumble from grief, give up, and let go of his love of finding and creating beauty from his visions.

What would I do with a shadow of who he once was?

One night while we were at the height of our sadness (still thinking it all burned down), my love looked at me and said:

“You know what’s crazy?! I know I can do this all again. I can create another masterpiece from an old run-down building.”

I was beyond shocked. Was he serious? Did he really just say he was open to the possibility of trying this again? After TWO fires? I for sure thought he would be angry at the world, at wildfires, at cabins in remote woods.

None of that fazed him.

He wasn’t ready to let his heart harden, he wasn’t ready to let his vision fade into the darkness, he wasn’t ready to let fire ruin what made him feel most alive.

I stood there, in awe of this human I chose to do life with. Suddenly it all made sense – he was put in my life to teach me relentless resilience and hope. While other people may have crumbled at the sight of losing all of it (again), he smiled… rose up from the ashes… and said:

“I can do this all over again.”

Love Deeply and Forever,

“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

—Nelson Mandela

The post Our 2nd Cabin Almost Burned Down & This is What Rose from the Ashes appeared first on Millennial Mouth.

Dear Person I Never Got an Apology From,

I have waited a few years for you to show up out of the blue and tell me that you are sorry. To tell me that you genuinely feel bad for hurting me over the course of many years, to tell me that you are sorry for abandoning me when I needed you the most, to tell me that I was worthy of love after all of those years you spent telling me that I was worthy of nothing, that I would amount to nothing, and that I was ugly in every sense of the word – inside and out.

I have waited as if I was owed an apology, as if your apology would hold serious weight after all these years. I thought your apology would heal me, I also thought that it would make me love myself just a little bit more.

Your apology would validate my feelings, it would tell me that you take responsibility for some of my pain, and it would make me feel like you regret hurting my soul as much as you did. It would acknowledge that I indeed did not deserve any of it… it would tell me that I was special to you but that you were just too naive to show it properly.

Of course, you never did show up, you never did say sorry and I grew despite this. I learned that I am worthy of it all, I learned that unconditional love comes from within me. Your verbal and physical bruises hardened my heart for some time but they allowed it to soften tenfold when it was ready to mend.

Your attacks allowed me to transform in spiritual ways, in emotional ways, in professional ways, and in physical ways.

Did you know that I am still waiting for your apology?

I know it won’t fix all of the things that were shattered all those years ago but it would let me know that you are not a monster, and by association – that I am not one either. I know it is time to stop waiting for the apology that will never come yet my heart still feels entitled to it; It needs to know that there is a light in you that perhaps was dim back then but is now shining brighter than ever.

Tell me you have changed.

Tell me you now only hold space for love. Tell me that you have grown to be gentle, kind, and aware of your impact on those around you.

I am aware I will wait forever, I am also aware that you don’t owe me this apology after all. The only apology I am owed is the one to me, from me. And while I am not ready to fully accept my own apology just yet – for believing all the things you once made me believe – please know that I have forgiven you and that you are a huge part of my growth as a human.

It is because of you, and possibly your lack of an apology, that I have turned my life around and chosen love over all else.

Dear Person I Never Got an Apology From,

Is it safe to say your heart has learned how to love after all of that hate you once had for yourself finally escaped your body?

Love Deeply and Forever,

The post A Letter to the Person I Never Got an Apology From appeared first on Millennial Mouth.

He just signed his hospice paperwork and is ready to go to heaven. He has touched my heart in so many ways. He has made me laugh every time I have seen him and he and I have shared beautifully mundane moments watching TV for hours over many Sundays. We have gone to really nice restaurants and shared many delicious meals. He was at my wedding and he has adopted me as his own.

Grandpa is 99.5 years old. He is an anomaly. His brain is still sharp as a whip. While on his deathbed, he looked at me today and said “Karen, you’re wasting away,” (his way of saying I have lost a lot of weight and he has noticed it) he has always been the best at compliments. While in the hospital, he tells stories of his past, giving exact dates, times, names, and even emotional recalls.

He is a sight to see. He is a soul that I am honored to have known.

Grandpa is trapped in his old body but his mind never aged one bit. He almost made it to 100. He is a USC Trojan and always embodied the “fight on” mantra. And in these last moments, my heart swells when I hold his hand. While his body is weak, his grip is still the strongest I have ever known.

I look into his eyes, and he still sees me. Not in the way other people see me, he looks beyond my physical features, I am pretty sure he has scanned my insides and knows I am the best partner for his grandson. Yea, he’s not my blood grandpa but he is the best grandpa I have ever had. The kindest, most present, most giving grandpa I have ever encountered.

Call me morbid, but I would be honored to be in the room with him when his body leaves this earth. He has been talking about how he is ready to meet the lord for quite some time now but his body finally got the memo that it is time.

Grandpa was the truest father figure in my husband’s life. He showed him what a loving marriage is supposed to look like. He taught him what it means to be a gentleman. Without Grandpa, I wouldn’t be married to the man by my side.

Grandpa is the man. He is someone I admire: A man of his word, a man who financially supported people who he believed in at the time, a true underdog championer. A serial reader, an eternal optimist, a USC football fanatic, a poet, a foodie, a golfer, a devoted husband, a supportive father, and of course… a Mister Prince Charming.

His only fault was his blind kindness, his hope that no one would suffer from not having enough because he always had plenty. A man who worked for every dollar and never set conditions for earning his loyalty. If you made it into his heart, he would likely allow you to be there forever unless you hurt those he worked so hard to protect.

I’m losing a grandpa that is not even mine. But he is everything I would imagine a grandpa should be. His way of moving through life with such confidence yet no pomp is something I have never seen before I met him. And while he was not my grandpa for 42 years like he was to my husband, his love impacted me on a soul level. Always reminding me of my Hispanic heritage with less-than-PC jokes… yet you always knew the jokes came from a place of pure love.

While I sit here and write this I know that he is looking forward to finally being with the Lord.

He is on his way on his own terms, as much as you can be when your body has given up. On his deathbed yet still making jokes and reminiscing. Taking mental inventory of the material and nonmaterial things he collected in his lifetime.

I know he is going the most graceful way possible and made the decision to go swiftly with the compassionate end-of-life care he deserves.

I am losing a grandpa who is not even mine but gaining a guardian angel who will forever be with us on our marriage journey.

The post I’m Losing a Grandpa That is Not Even Mine and This is What I Know appeared first on Millennial Mouth.

During the moments of darkness, I tried all the usual things – the super deep breaths, ALL the yoga, connecting with humans, working out, getting massages, and going for walks. None of those things brought me clarity.

My mind was too cluttered, and my heart much too fragile to even find joy in the present moment.

It happens.

Sometimes we step out of the routine and the sadness comes, sometimes it’s because of the routine that the sadness comes. And during these cycles of feeling down, there was one phrase I didn’t want to hear, the same one that has never comforted me. Yep, it is in the title of this blog post: “Just be positive.”

No, I could not just be “positive” during these days.

I had to feel all the feelings, exhale out all the B.S., vent incessantly, and feel sad because I was feeling angry and feel angry because I was feeling sad. If someone even dared say those “Just be positive” words to me during this time, I am pretty sure I would have exploded.

What is it about these specific words that bothers me so much?

Telling someone to be positive when they are experiencing depression or crippling anxiety sounds like a toxic positive tactic. My friend Google says toxic positivity is a “belief that rejects all difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful and often falsely positive façade.” Yes, you can smile when you’re not feeling great and sometimes feel your mood shift slightly. But if you are simply not feeling “it” that is valid and okay. You can stay right where you are for as long as you need.

Next time you feel like saying “just BE positive” I challenge you to instead say “just DO positive.” After you allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, go immerse yourself in things that fill you with excitement, love, curiosity, and passion. And while you might not feel better right away, doing positive things can help tranform thoughts and feelings.

I spent a few days alone with my dark thoughts until I realized that I could only turn my mood around if I did more of the things that felt positive for me.  It took a lot of “doing positive” for me to come out on the other side but I am halfway there. I am not 100% but I feel myself recovering from sad land.

Taking a moment to just sit with the negative parts of me was key. It was then that we all decided that we didn’t like each other one bit and needed to recruit the more positive parts of me.

One new thing I discovered on this heaviness-to-lightness journey is that asking people what brings them joy inspires me to embody positivity. Seeing people’s eyes light up about the things that make them feel ooey and gooey inside is a potent anecdote for me. Sharing joy is spreading joy.

So, Stop. Drop. And whatever you do… do NOT tell me to just be positive.

Love Deeply and Forever,

The post Why You Shouldn’t Tell Me to “Just Be Positive” appeared first on Millennial Mouth.

I have been living by this principle for a while and the way they articulated it was a welcomed reminder of something I know to be true, something I hold near and dear to my heart.

When I did my yoga teacher training a few years ago, I did more than just learn a few physical poses. I learned emotional and mental tools to help guide me to becoming a better human. One of those better human tools are the “8 Limbs of Yoga,” and within those limbs live the “Yamas,” or 5 social ethics.

There is one Yama in particular that resonated deeply with me. Asteya – The practice of non-stealing. This doesn’t only apply to not stealing material things. It is abandoning the intent or desire to steal anything from anyone by words, thoughts, or deceit – like stealing a talent, a relationship, a moment, an achievement, time, energy, or resources.

Let that sink in.

Stealing is more than shoplifting stuff at a store. It can be stealing someone’s time, energy, or moment to shine.

How many times do you think you have stolen something from someone without maybe even noticing it?

How many times have you shared something with someone immediately after they shared their own excitement instead of just listening and letting them really feel their excitement?

How many times have you proved to someone that your time is more important than theirs by not showing up when they need you? How many times have you dumped your bad day onto an innocent bystander?

Just because I learned about this in yoga training, doesn’t mean my answers to the above questions are “never have I ever.” I am a human. I have stolen moments by not listening fully. I have been late to things that matter to people I care about. I have dumped my life story onto people without asking for permission first.

I have had my heart broken many times by allowing others to steal a lot from me. I have allowed people to pillage my soul, my being, my mind, and yes, my body. I could write a whole Taylor Swift album about the pain I have felt when I allowed others to steal precious things, moments, feelings, and memories from me.

And it is because of all those traumas that I refuse to let anyone steal my time or my mood ever again. My time and my mood (or energy) are my most valued possessions. While I know that there are a lot of things I cannot control in this life, I am confident that I can protect my time and my energy from others.

If someone tries to steal those 2 things from me, I simply have no room for them. If someone actively shows me that they honor my time and my energy, I will make sacred space for them and reciprocate.

I refuse to be an energy or time vampire in this life. You are special, you are enough, and your time and your energy are sacred.

Are you actively practicing Asteya (non-stealing)? Do you walk into a room, assess the energy and try to match that energy instead of letting your heavy baggage take over the room? Do you listen to understand or pretend to listen so you can talk next? Do you show people that their time and energy are special to you with words of gratitude, affirmations, and asking permission before mind dumping?

Let that sink in.

Love Deeply and Forever,

The post The 2 Things No One Can Ever Steal From Me appeared first on Millennial Mouth.

I’m entering the mid 30s land and realize I don’t have any of the above things that I once thought were synonyms for success.

The house has been attacked by broken sprinklers and rain leaks, the kids are nonexistent, the car costs lots of money to fix, the husband is a human, the job is not as easy as little me imagined.

…oh, and where the hell is the white picket fence?

Nothing I have or own is perfect. I have trauma from my past relationships that I carry with me as I move through this life. I have scars on my legs and my arms from moments I don’t remember or maybe choose not to remember. I have a complicated relationship with food and my weight. I sometimes have an irrational fear of spending too much money. The words “shame,”“goodness,” “perfection” sometimes riddle my insides.

While I am aware of all my imperfections, I am also aware that younger me had no idea what success would look or feel like so she clung onto the idea of perfect little things on a little list she made up in her imagination. She thought perfection was the end goal. She thought encountering no challenges meant she had “made it.” She thought having kids was mandatory and necessary on the path to fulfillment.

My mid 30s involves rewriting all the little perfection-themed stories I used to tell myself; All the little lies society engrained in my psyche.

By now, I can honestly confess I have tried every single diet that has ever existed. Only to realize that all I ever needed to do was start cooking stuff I actually like to eat.

Crazy, huh? Learning things the hard way has always been my specialty. My mid 30s is a time of relishing in the outcomes of all the hard lessons learned.

Mid 30s means knowing success is not a list of perfect things. It means learning it’s never been about literally answering the “what’s the meaning of life?” question but rather about acknowledging the ways we choose to answer the question every single day.

It’s about giving life meaning through soulful action. It’s about letting the ink on the paper smudge and being ok with answering questions with “I just don’t know.”

I’ve been born many times. Each time I am born with a little more wisdom, but still with some humbling naivety. One thing I know for certain in my mid 30s is that “success” to me means living a life with meaning and purpose. My soul can only make that happen by allowing my heart and mind to stay curious – not shunning ideas outside of those that currently live within me.

Being mid 30s means I stumble everyday. Some days I live with more intention than others. Some days I just need to make it out alive. Some days I find more glimmers of joy than others. Some days my hot coffee falls all over my white shirt on the way to work and all hope for a good day is lost. Some days I have all the kind words. Other days the filter is completely broken.

So no, at 30-something I don’t have the kids or the white fence or all the answers. But I am aware of the divine light that lives within each human I encounter. I know that I can get caught in the crossfires of other people’s pain and I have learned that it has nothing to do with my existence.

I will not apologize for being too much or being high maintenance. I will apologize when my words are not kind and my actions are ambiguous.

I don’t think I’m ugly or broken or less than anymore and I am happy to report I will continue to move through life this way.

Love Deeply and Forever,

The post What Being Mid 30s Feels Like appeared first on Millennial Mouth.

Being an adult finally caught up with me when I decided to do my taxes on a random Saturday when I was “bored” only to find out I would not be getting any sort of return but rather owed money I did not plan on owing. That same day, I came home to a cat projectile vomiting all day and night.

Whoa is me, right?

I hate every word that I am currently typing as I am typing it.

What ever happened to little-miss-yogi-Karen? Didn’t she just write about how you can be a masterpiece and a work in progress all at the same time?

Yes, well, that was back on December 31, 2023. A lot has changed since then.

But also, I am clearly going through my Work-in-Progress Era rather than my Masterpiece Era. Yea, sure, both are still true – but man, has the work in progress part of being human come to slap me in the face.

I have been spiraling since my last post. And it’s not because I have a horrible life, it’s because life is life. It shall forever be unpredictable and being a responsible adult isn’t all what we dreamed it would be. Unexpected expenses pop up, family gets sick, cars break down, dental visits get more horrible.

I can go on and on but that wouldn’t do either of us any good, now would it?

I wish I could get lost in a sea of meditation abyss and make it all disappear but that is just not where I am yet. I am angry, frustrated, and sad.

While in this land of icky, I have found glimmers of gratitude in the love that surrounds me and continues to show up when I don’t feel 100%.

The coworker who invited me to try her freshly made soup on a Thursday.

The husband who brought home all of the right groceries.

The friend who called me and made me laugh hysterically at exactly the right time.

The kitty who curls up in my lap days after his puking party.

The mom who sends me selfie texts of her living her best life.

All these shared moments with all these beautiful humans make me feel warm and cuddly inside even when it’s pouring outside.

It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to cry after a bad day. It’s okay to tell people how you are really feeling when they ask. I am human, I am weak, I am resilient, I am love. I am all the things.

And guess what? You are all the things too.

So do that little sweet thing for that person that you think wont notice, make small talk with someone you don’t usually talk to, spend extra time on the phone just to hear someone excited about something you know nothing about, ask someone a question just to listen rather than to be understood.

It’s those seemingly little things that end up touching hearts around you the deepest.

Love Deeply and Forever,

The post Dear 2024, Are You Over Yet? appeared first on Millennial Mouth.