How to Fix What You Might Not Even Know is Broken in Your Familyfeatured

During this quarantine, many things have come bubbling to the surface. Have you experienced much the same? For me, my family suddenly took center stage. I suddenly realized we were broken in a very interesting way. We have been blessed to finally have the time and patience to recognize this.

We have never needed anything, we have never had it “that bad,” but that doesn’t mean we are not flawed.

We are super good at trauma bonding. If something terrible happens, we show up. We regroup. We stick it out together. But what about the moments when trauma is simply not there? Well, we laugh together and do all that stuff that normal families do.

But a very important piece of the puzzle has always been missing. Something we forgot to do all along, something that was simply never taught, thought about, or practiced.

We forgot to learn how to ask questions. We forgot to listen on a deeper and more spiritual level. Maybe we used to think it was a sign of weakness or we were too busy with the bustle of life and being neatly organized into our familial roles to have ever taken the time.

We never thought to connect beyond what we thought was “normal.” Beyond the “How was your day?” chitchat.

The more each of us has evolved, the more we see the importance of asking things like, “How did that make you feel?” “Can I do something to help you right now?” Even asking the simpler questions can sometimes escape us, like, “What is your favorite movie?” “What was your favorite game growing up?” “What was grandma like?”

It’s never too late to start. Try it out if you haven’t already.  Need some ideas? Read my good friend’s article here. I asked my mom some of the suggested questions and we ended up in tears and laughter. If you have kids, ask them how they feel. Ask them what they like about you and what they don’t.

It can seem awkward at first, but once you break the ice, it can be an extremely healing experience for you and your entire family.

Start making history with those you love. Ask the tough, and maybe not so tough, questions. The ones that make them who they are. Dig deep. Learn their journey. See the world through their eyes beyond how your eyes have always seen them. I promise you are in for a sweet surprise.

Love Deeply and Forever,

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