How You Can Find Comfort in the Uncomfortablefeatured

I decided this year that I would become a certified yoga instructor. Sounds pretty cool, right?

I imagined that becoming certified would make me certifiably awesome. That I would start walking into rooms inhaling confidence and exhaling expertise.

WRONG!

Boy was I so so SO very wrong. It’s been a few months since I got that certification. Since I joined a bunch of beautiful human beings in learning how to love myself and lead others even with all of my imperfections staring me straight in the face.

So I sit here prepping for tomorrow’s class I will teach. By prepping, I mean shaking in my boots. When I stand in front of a group of souls ready to move their bodies I tense up and suddenly feel like I will let them down.

I’m not good at this yet.

I am not close to being an expert. But one thing that I do know is the reason I began this journey in the first place. I began this all on a quest to share yoga with the world. Not because yoga is a great workout for the body but because it is a great workout for the soul.

But still.

Teaching is the most uncomfortable space I have ever found myself in.

I can’t bullshit my way through it, I can’t pretend to know what I am talking about… because for one full hour people have put trust in me to show them how to move, how to learn to just be, and how to explore all of their being – physically, emotionally, mentally. All of the things that are so easy to hide away.

So how can I find comfort in this uncomfortable place? How can you do the same?

We often read about how the uncomfortable is what leads us to growth and new heights. I find that hard to believe when all these faces just stare straight at me as if I’m supposed to know best.

I don’t know best. I don’t feel like I know any better than the next person.

I’m just trying my best to guide people to learn to look within themselves to unearth all of the treasures that have been there all along.

Truth is, you will always feel uncomfortable when faced with growth. You will always feel like you’re going to let people down when you’re doing your very best not to.

That’s where the magic lives: In those moments in which you push forward in the face of discomfort. When you show up even though it’s so much easier to just not show up.

Teaching people to move their bodies in an effort to move their souls is quite possibly the most difficult thing I have ever set out to do.

Because when everyone is watching you it’s easy to get lost in the depths of your ego…

Am I not fit enough for this?

Am I not good enough to guide people?

Am I not the best example of what I am preaching?

Do they know I didn’t come as prepared as I could have?

The thoughts trickle in between cues make it so much easier to just give up and walk away from it all.

But then…But then I remember why I began this journey in the first place. It was never for me to battle my demons alone. Or for you to battle yours alone. It was for us to deal with our demons. For us to unpack all of the baggage that keeps us all from moving through the uncomfortable parts of ourselves. The parts that can unite us as humans if we simply shed light on them.

Have you ever taken a moment to look your yoga instructor in the eyes as they guide you? Or to thank them after class for providing such a comforting space for you?

I did the other day and they looked straight back at me and told me that that was precisely what they needed to hear at that moment. They had no idea if they had delivered what their students needed because they had such a rough day themselves.

But that was IT.

They showed up anyway. They guided a room full of strangers on a day when they felt ‘off,’ when they simply didn’t feel good enough to really make any sort of impact in the world.

Maybe the only way to find true comfort in the uncomfortable is to keep showing up, to keep trying your best. Because the way that you move through your own discomfort can be a lesson for all those around you that may wonder if they can move through the discomfort too.

I am not the best yoga instructor ever. And of course, you know I am not the best human ever. But I will continue to share my experiences with you. I will continue to open my heart to all of my readers because maybe by me sharing some of my discomforts with you you can feel comfortable enough to put yourself out there too.

Let’s try to be comfortable with being the most uncomfortable thing of them all – Human. Complex, multidimensional, tragic, beautiful, broken, resilient, terrified, brave, kind, dark, and radiant all at the same time.

Love Deeply and Forever,

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