I’m Losing a Grandpa That is Not Even Mine and This is What I Knowfeatured

Grandpa is dying.

He just signed his hospice paperwork and is ready to go to heaven. He has touched my heart in so many ways. He has made me laugh every time I have seen him and he and I have shared beautifully mundane moments watching TV for hours over many Sundays. We have gone to really nice restaurants and shared many delicious meals. He was at my wedding and he has adopted me as his own.

Grandpa is 99.5 years old. He is an anomaly. His brain is still sharp as a whip. While on his deathbed, he looked at me today and said “Karen, you’re wasting away,” (his way of saying I have lost a lot of weight and he has noticed it) he has always been the best at compliments. While in the hospital, he tells stories of his past, giving exact dates, times, names, and even emotional recalls.

He is a sight to see. He is a soul that I am honored to have known.

Grandpa is trapped in his old body but his mind never aged one bit. He almost made it to 100. He is a USC Trojan and always embodied the “fight on” mantra. And in these last moments, my heart swells when I hold his hand. While his body is weak, his grip is still the strongest I have ever known.

I look into his eyes, and he still sees me. Not in the way other people see me, he looks beyond my physical features, I am pretty sure he has scanned my insides and knows I am the best partner for his grandson. Yea, he’s not my blood grandpa but he is the best grandpa I have ever had. The kindest, most present, most giving grandpa I have ever encountered.

Call me morbid, but I would be honored to be in the room with him when his body leaves this earth. He has been talking about how he is ready to meet the lord for quite some time now but his body finally got the memo that it is time.

Grandpa was the truest father figure in my husband’s life. He showed him what a loving marriage is supposed to look like. He taught him what it means to be a gentleman. Without Grandpa, I wouldn’t be married to the man by my side.

Grandpa is the man. He is someone I admire: A man of his word, a man who financially supported people who he believed in at the time, a true underdog championer. A serial reader, an eternal optimist, a USC football fanatic, a poet, a foodie, a golfer, a devoted husband, a supportive father, and of course… a Mister Prince Charming.

His only fault was his blind kindness, his hope that no one would suffer from not having enough because he always had plenty. A man who worked for every dollar and never set conditions for earning his loyalty. If you made it into his heart, he would likely allow you to be there forever unless you hurt those he worked so hard to protect.

I’m losing a grandpa that is not even mine. But he is everything I would imagine a grandpa should be. His way of moving through life with such confidence yet no pomp is something I have never seen before I met him. And while he was not my grandpa for 42 years like he was to my husband, his love impacted me on a soul level. Always reminding me of my Hispanic heritage with less-than-PC jokes… yet you always knew the jokes came from a place of pure love.

While I sit here and write this I know that he is looking forward to finally being with the Lord.

He is on his way on his own terms, as much as you can be when your body has given up. On his deathbed yet still making jokes and reminiscing. Taking mental inventory of the material and nonmaterial things he collected in his lifetime.

I know he is going the most graceful way possible and made the decision to go swiftly with the compassionate end-of-life care he deserves.

I am losing a grandpa who is not even mine but gaining a guardian angel who will forever be with us on our marriage journey.