It’s Official. All of My Friends Have Something That I Don’t.featured

If you keep up with my blog, you know that I am a 30-something with 2 cats. One recently died and we most recently got a kitten who is definitely testing my patience, and so many other things, at the moment. To give you a bit more context, I cried the other night because I don’t feel I am the best cat mother I possibly could be.

So, yes, my name is Karen and I am a crazy cat lady. Funny thing is, I always knew I would be and I am learning a lot about myself along the way.

I don’t have a lot of friends. I love being home and I love surrounding myself with candles and crime shows on most nights. I do have a select few people whom I hold close to my heart and they are all genuine, strong, and inspiring humans.

It used to be that some of them had this something while others did not. But now it’s real official, they all have something that I don’t. And they will always have it.

This something has been described as one of the greatest journeys of all time. And a few weeks ago, I realized I am the odd woman out. Babies. All of my friends now have babies. Some of their babies are bigger than others but they are now all moms raising little humans of their own.

I am rooting them all on and seeing them transform into mothers is a true honor, yet I can’t shake the fact that they are all part of a club that I have chosen to opt-out of at this point in my life. Some of them encourage me to join their club, others just invite me in as the honorary auntie. Either way, I am still not an official club member.

I have often said I am not sure if I want to be part of this club but a part of me wishes I could speak this club’s secret language, share its handshake, and initiate my own little tribe as new members of it. Without all of the responsibility of course. Talk about being a true ‘Karen.’

I am bummed our babies aren’t being raised together and I wonder if it’s even in the cards for me. I mean, I am not even a wonderful cat mother yet. Will I ever be?

Is this what it feels like to be a human mother? Do you always feel like you are not doing enough? Giving enough? Equipped with enough? And if so, are you ever confident you did the absolute best that you could?

If you are a human mom, please help shed light upon some of the mysteries that circulate my mind.

To all of my mommy friends, thank you for loving me through all stages, no matter what club you are currently a member of or will be a member of in the future. A huge shout out to my friend Shar for making a Friday night Sprouts/Marshall’s date happen with us and her precious new baby boy. It’s surreal to me that you have all created such miracles in this lifetime. The world is lucky to have more of your beautiful DNA within it.

As for me, I will be over here spoiling all of your kiddos (because I love them as much as I do you), while at the same time wondering if this something is meant for me to experience one day too. And if it’s not, what club will I be in?

Love Deeply and Forever,

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