What Do You Do When Life Gets the Best of You?featured

Growing up, I have always been hard on myself. I have always psyched myself out before the big test, or the big event, or the big whatever.

I don’t know where these anxious feelings have come from, but I can assume it’s just part of being a strange human. I always want to give the best, be the best, and feel the best.

As I mentioned in my last post, I don’t feel my best right now. I am dealing with some serious soul searching. I’m looking for myself but for some reason can’t find “me.”

You know that ideal version of you? That version you sell the world? Yea, that version is lost. But that’s okay, maybe it’s better that way. Maybe I’m in a state of transforming into someone completely different.

Maybe I can’t find that version of me because we are forever evolving in this life. Whatever the case, life is getting the best of me. My emotions are uncontrollable. But that’s okay too. I have learned to feel what I feel with no fear.

The trick is, not to let toxic feelings consume you. Too late. I’m here, I’m consumed, but I keep taking baby steps to move forward regardless.

I have found that although it feels like my surroundings are complete chaos, I don’t have to be. My emotions will eventually simmer down. And stability will come.

This moment has tested me. This moment is forcing me to grow. And that’s all this is, a moment in time. A season of change.

Life is currently getting the best of me but I’m seeing the best way to handle this is to slow down. Literally. By living life in slow motion and by slowing my mind down. Another thing I’ve found that helps is to feel endless gratitude in those glimpses of happiness throughout the day.

I have been begging the universe to bring me stability but maybe the universe is telling me stop psyching myself out before the big test. Maybe the universe is telling me this, because in this exact moment, as I write this, this is the test.

I have been able to stay present because I have lived comfortably within boundaries for so long. You could even say I was content with playing it “safe” and not evolving. I was stagnant and stagnant life is easy to navigate.

But things have changed. I want more from life and a lot more from myself. This could be why life is getting the best of me. Whatever the case, slowing down and finding the silver linings everyday are helping me reach something that resembles clarity.

Thank you, universe. I am ready to change.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen