What Gives You Energy? Let Me Tell You a Little About What Makes Me Feel Most Alive.featured

I have had some less-than-ideal past few weeks. Dare I say I have had a less-than-ideal few months? I have felt isolated. I have felt incompetent. I have cried a lottttt. I felt like I was about to lose something super close to my heart. I have felt dark, distant, sorrowful.

I know this is a season, yes I know, it will pass. To those people closest to me, I will be okay, but right now, I am focusing on turning in.

During this time I have reflected on what energizes my soul, on what makes me feel most alive.

Why?

Because I need to re-energize my soul so that I can continue to take steps forward rather than backward. How easy it would be to turn to old comforts when life circumstances are less than ideal.

I have instead chosen Life and the things that can pull me out of the shadows.

I find my energy in listening to music. I find my energy in loving on my cats. I find my energy in concerts. I find my energy in connecting with my friends and their families. I find energy in diving into delicious food. I find my energy in finding my flow in my workouts. I find energy in finding my flow in work projects and in passion projects. I find my energy in creating. I find my energy in writing. I find my energy in organizing messes. I find my energy in admiring art. I find my energy in the buzz of coffee shops.

I have made it a point to do the things that energize me even on some of the days when curling up alone in a ball may sound more inviting.

It has been challenging.

I have continued to drag myself toward the things that feed my soul. And I wish I could say I am all fine and dandy now. But one of the reasons I have this blog is to share my Truth with you.

What moving toward the things that give me energy has offered me are glimmers of love, community, hope, and strength – but yet I am still so fragile right now. I have joked that the fire inside me is but a tiny little flame at the moment but most jokes hold a glimmer of truth, do they not?

I know I am not alone. I know that I am blessed. I also know that it is okay to be down. It doesn’t mean I am broken, it means I am beautifully 100% human. It means that I am currently meant to be exactly where I am.

How can I fully embrace joy if I cannot fully feel what this feeling is right now as I write to you? And can both things be true? Can I feel joy for a few hours this morning and come back to feeling ‘bleh’ for the rest of this evening?

The answer is yes.

Happiness can live in moments, in glimmers, and can also encompass full seasons. The same can be true for other emotional states.

What gives you energy? What gives you life? Are you in a season of pure joy right now or are you in a season of reflection? Or both? What can feeding your soul with the things that make you feel alive offer you right now?

I am not here to tell you it is not okay to curl up into that ball when your body and mind call for it. But I want to let you know that it is okay to search for the glimmers that give you life especially when they may seem more fleeting and challenging to get to than usual.

I invite you to honor the very little flame or the huge and uncontrollable one that lives within you right now. I also invite you to notice that the flames igniting the souls around you may vary in size. Be gentle. Be kind. Ignite your fire with the things that feel good to you.

Love Deeply and Forever,

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