What I Have to Say to the People Who Say “I Don’t ‘Do’ Yoga”featured

I’m halfway through my yoga teacher training as many of you may know. This is my second training, my first was virtual at the onset of the pandemic.

I have found myself smackdab in the middle of these trainings not because I’m “good” at yoga (believe me, I have a lot to learn), not because I am bendy (because I’m not), but because yoga became my refuge a decade ago.

I have always been an anxious human, I have always found ways to overwhelm myself. But about 10 years ago, I decided to take control of my life. I decided that while anxiousness will always run through my veins, I would not let it run my life.

I was working a full-time outside sales job, going to grad school, and reeling from the most abusive relationship I had ever had. I was spread thin, trying to piece back together a girl who had never felt whole or worthy enough of love, from others or myself.

I got a gym membership and became obsessed with manipulating the way my body looked. I mean, isn’t the revenge body the ultimate payback?

And while I underwent this unhealthy physical transformation, I stumbled into a late-night restorative yoga class. It was offered at my gym and I thought I could definitely use some “restoring.” I walked in super nervous. Never having tried yoga, I, like many people in the world, thought it was going to be some sort of circus act with monkeys swinging from the ceiling.

It was dark and I rolled out my brand new bright pink yoga mat and sat down. I noticed it was silent and I followed suit. The instructor led us through some gentle stretches and I never knew if I was doing any of them “right.”

As I gently moved, I realized I didn’t even care if I was moving in a “right” or “wrong” way. I found comfort in my breath, my body, and most importantly, all of my being. As I lay in my final resting pose, the instructor led me through a meditation that brought tears to my eyes. It had something to do with finding gratitude in dedicating time to be with yourself, fully in your body and soul.

In that exact moment, I felt more love than I had ever before. I remember walking away in awe of my first yoga experience. It was as if I had moved all the negative thoughts and energy out of my body and made space for genuine unconditional love.

Although frustrated that I had burned little-to-no calories in my first yoga class, in one hour of moving my body into foreign shapes, I had found the peace I had been searching for for so many years.

I decided to continue to explore yoga. And Zumba, and all of the group fitness classes that ever existed. I eventually found myself in some form of yoga every week.

Like prescribed medicine, I walked out of every yoga class a stronger and better version of myself. The anxiety still came up, but yoga was slowly teaching me how to better manage it. It was teaching me that I could always rebound to a comforting place within myself.

The fitness fanatic in me thought it was worth not maximizing calorie burn in exchange for an hour of loving-kindness. Little did I know then that yoga was propelling me forward on my journey to a soulful inner transformation of the spirit, but that’s a story for another day.

So, what do I say to all the people who say they “don’t do yoga?”

I ask them why they rather not and respect the fact that the practice is not for everyone. I also recognize that the word “yoga” is often misunderstood.

It’s not about looking like a pretzel, it’s about untangling all of the tangled threads (of energy) that run through us that can often take the shape of anxiety, nervousness, self-doubt, or even self-destruction.

I would love it if everyone was brave enough to look inside themselves and build an intimate relationship with themselves through yoga movements and philosophy. But I also realize some people just rather not. And that’s okay.

Yoga as a spiritual prescription is not for everyone. There are other ways to feed the soul, but I will continue to choose yoga and strength training because I have learned that it is only when I move my body that I find my true freedom – freedom to be me, freedom to be strong, freedom to be vulnerable, and freedom to give and receive unconditional love from myself and others.

My dream is to share yoga with everyone that is open, ready, and willing to try it. While everyone’s experience is unique, I hope they can all meet themselves exactly where they are every time they step onto their mat with me as their empathetic guide. And that they can return to this safe place whenever they need to. With or without me.

Namaste.

Love Deeply and Forever,

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