Why Everyone I Have Ever Met is an Angelfeatured

I am sure you read the title of the blog post and called bullshit. Maybe you thought: “Who does this girl think she is? Is she okay?” I have gone through life in a way that was not all rainbows and butterflies. I went through moments where I deeply hated myself and everything and everyone around me.

These were the years where my poetry took center stage, where I felt like I was a blossoming artist going through the many stages that every successful artist needs to go through. These moments were deep and painful and I seemed to find some romance in it all.

How could no one understand me? And if anyone showed a slight sign that they indeed could understand me, I would bow down to them like they were the end all be all.

I went through this stage where I was nasty to everything that stood in my way. And everything and everyone was the enemy at this point in time.

I mean, doesn’t everyone go through this? Doesn’t everyone at some time feel like they are alone? I sure did, and I resented everyone around me for it.

If I had a looking glass into these days I would throw up in my mouth today. There was so much pain within me that I materialized it into everything that I did. This took a lot of effort and very little restraint.

One day I broke into a million little pieces. I was upside down and had no idea who or what I had become. Through all the haze of it all, all I could see was a confused and angry little girl. One that wanted someone – anyone – to fix her and piece her back together.

I screamed for so many years but no one came to my rescue.

Good and bad people came into my life as time travelers but none on the mission to make everything okay for me. Most made it worse. One made life living hell for me. One made me hate myself more than I ever had. One truly changed all that was me.

After I broke, I realized that even this one “horrible” person was an angel that was put in my path. This person made me see the ugliness of humanity so I could then see the beauty of it all.

I suddenly realized that every single person I had ever met before this moment was an angel carefully crafted just for me. Each taught me lessons through gradients of light and darkness I had never seen before.

This whole time I had hated all those that stood in my way when in reality all these people were put in my path for me to learn from, grow from, and eventually evolve from.

I have had arguments with people regarding this point of view. I mean, how could the evil be seen as “angels?”

Easy.

I truly believe we all have the capability to be good even if it’s not our first instinct, I do believe it is possible. And if you are a purely horrible person externally, I believe you are deeply broken beyond repair.

I now know that I cannot fix the broken but I do acknowledge that I am empathetic to the pain within them. I have been there, I have felt the world against me but I had the opportunity to find my heart at the end of my own deep dark tunnel.

Not everyone gets to experience this, nor is it my job to make others believe in my truth, but I do believe we all cross paths for a reason. And everyone that has impacted my life is an angel of sorts in my eyes. One that served their own distinct purpose within my journey.

I feel for all those that have caused pain, harm, joy, or happiness within my life. Each one of these people is significant within my heart. I hold no resentment toward any one of these angels. They are what make me, well, me.

This is my story and my story alone. This is how I have been able to make sense of my life and how I have been able to stay so positive throughout my later 20’s.

Had I continued to be as broken as I once was, I would not be where I am today – brave, ambitious, and ready to take on the world one day at a time.

No one has to agree with me but I do want all my angels to know that I thank them for entering my life. I thank them for showing me different aspects of myself and for teaching me that I need no saving as I am my own savior.

I have the power to change my present and there is no need to place the blame on others. All I can do is thank those that have created waves within the ocean of my being. Whether violent, beautiful, or violently beautiful – I will always thank each and every one of my angels, for without them I would be forever lost.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen