Why I Love Gifts But Other People May Hate Them – Gift-Givers Bewarefeatured

First off, I have to set the record straight. A connection recently told me, “I read your blog and I am sorry you are so sad.” I am in no way sad. This blog is a place where I like to share some of the experiences, situations, and emotions we may have never learned about while we were kids in school. I hope that by sharing some of the things going on in my world, that they may help you navigate the things going on in your world.

While I may have had a more real 2024 than I would have liked, I am surrounded with endless love and support and for that I am grateful. A shoutout to my small but mighty inner circle, you know who you are.

So, let’s dive into today’s topic – gifts!

‘Tis the season to show the people you care about that you love them and appreciate them. Many of the holidays celebrated around this time of year tend to have gifts involved, big or small items to let others know they matter to you.

I have been told on several occasions that I am the best “gift-receiver” ever. Yes, you heard right, I am an expert at receiving things.

No matter what it is, I have always appreciated gifts; to me, they mean that someone somewhere was thinking about me while I was not around. That, to me, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

It’s never been about the monetary value of a gift to me – the simplest trinket or card means the world to me. If you have ever seen me open a gift, you know that my entire face lights up every time I open one and I usually have some over-the-top expression. And it is always a genuine reaction.

I can’t say I am a wonderful gift-giver though. I tend to save the gifts for holidays or birthdays and sometimes I am at a loss of what to get people simply because most of the people I know have everything they need. So my approach lately has been to gift people practical things that often make my life easier or bring me joy. They may love these things too, I think to myself.

And while I think it is so sweet to gift people things, this idea is not a universal truth. Not everyone loves gifts.

I talked to a good friend of mine recently and they told me that they feel awkward receiving gifts, that they often wonder why people gift them things that are just not their style, and that they sometimes feel offended at the thing they receive or feel obligated to express that they love it even when they hate it.

I was so shocked to hear that they don’t love receiving things as much as I do.

How could that be?

You’re telling me that some people’s love languages do not include gifts?!

And the answer is yes.

Some people hate receiving gifts. They may think it (a gift) is a power play, that it is wasteful, that they have to react a certain way or reciprocate, that it literally represents the way someone views them, that they are undeserving of it, or they may simply hate being the center of attention for any reason. I can’t relate to any of the above but these are just some of the potential gift-receiving lenses.

We all come with our personal baggage and that is perfectly okay. And gifts are not everyone’s love language.

I am sharing this with you today because my mind was blown when I learned this and it helped me understand some of the less-than-ideal reactions my gifts have been met with.

I don’t gift things so that I get something back (so please don’t ever feel obligated to give me a gift back). I gift things because I like to let people think I am thinking of them. This is not the case for all gift-givers nor is it something clear to all all my gift-receivers.

I will continue giving small gifts to the people I love but I will be more mindful of the type of gifts I pick out for them based on their personality traits and how I have seen them react to gifts in the past.

And to the people who don’t see all gifts as something positive – I invite you to try and open your heart to view gifts as simple gestures rather than material items with a deeper meaning. While you may have been gifted the ugliest scarf you have ever seen, the person who picked it likely really loved it and thought you may love it as much as they did when they picked it out for you.

It’s not usually my style, but lately, I have asked and been asked, “What do you really want for your birthday?” and I have responded honestly and received honest responses which has made gift-giving and gift-receiving a lot more enjoyable for all parties involved. This may not be true for all people, but some may appreciate being considered.

The point of the story here is: Everyone is different and unique when it comes to gifting and what brings value to one person may bring anxiety to the next.

Be as mindful as you can be this holiday season and consider the receiver’s perspective when on the hunt for a gift especially for them. It may be that they prefer being gifted more quality time with you or a nice note of gratitude instead of another “thing.” And to the gift-receivers of the world, please know that the gift-giver did their best even if it doesn’t land with you as well as they may have intended.

Love Deeply and Forever,