Why the Phrase “They Would Never Do That” is Never Truefeatured

I watch a lot of crime shows. I mean, A LOT. Dateline, Forensic Files, 48 Hours, Snapped… you name it. I am always intrigued by the psychology behind these crimes. Oftentimes there is close to nothing that can really be observed in these criminals prior to their crimes.

Many would have never thought their neighbors could do such a thing or that their best friend’s husband was having an affair that lead to a heinous crime. I’ve always paid attention to this, being careful to observe any patterns in the individuals described on these shows.

Of course, the patterns can never justify any of the actions but maybe they could help me understand the “why” behind some of these scenarios.

There are phrases that have always resonated in my head: “He would never do that. He was such a nice guy.” Or “She was so quiet and sweet. She would never hurt a fly.” What can really make any of us experts in the human condition? Yes, some of us are more consistent than others but human constantly change.

I have changed from when I was 16 years old. Of this I am certain. Life experiences have completely changed the way my brain is wired. Just as this is true for me, I know this is true for many others.

I make choices now that I would have never seen myself making a decade ago. I would scoff at the human I have become if I had a looking glass into the years ahead of me.

So why is it that we think we really “know” people? Even those that we are the most detached from? We think we know our neighbor so well or the cashier at the supermarket when in fact we really can’t. Just because someone exudes certain patterns and can be seen as predictable doesn’t mean that every single one of their actions will follow suit.

A person who used to know me in college has no idea who I am today. I always wonder if people are aware of this. Think about when you reunite with old friends. Sure, you can laugh about some of the same things but each one of you has changed drastically throughout the course of your lives. What was once important may have zero meaning today and vice versa.

I do believe our essence stays the same. The little children within our hearts will always be alive and well within us on some level. But there’s something to be said about the nurture part of evolving and growing as human beings.

The pain that I feel is going to be much different than my neighbor’s. The person I was so long ago may have died on many levels long ago leaving only remnants of that version of me that people once “knew.”

No matter what the case, people constantly change and the statement “They would never do that,” has no concrete facts to back it up. People take unpredictable action each day.

Priorities shift in a matter of weeks and no one can ever really know what is going on in the mind of another. Whether a close friend or a distant acquaintance, be careful never to assume. We all are humans we have the capability to change, evolve and reinvent ourselves as many times in a lifetime as we wish. Beyond that, life sometimes changes us without ever letting anyone know sometimes even omitting this profound truth from ourselves.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

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