Why The Things You Used to Love About Your Partner Become the Things You Hate and the Things You Once Hated About Yourself Become the Ones You Lovefeatured

I have always been a lover. Every person I once saw from afar could potentially save me from myself. Every cool guy could be my next guy, or so I thought. I truly fell hard a few times. And even with those that I didn’t, I loved bits and pieces of each of them.

Being a newlywed I have I have subscribed to all things marriage; podcasts, forums, books, etc. I read and watch so many shows where the marriage starts to fall apart because the things a husband or wife once loved in the other become the things they learn to hate, and most importantly resent.

The rose-colored glasses can come off in a marriage. All the positives can turn to negatives when real life hits in the worst of ways.

Perspective is everything and if you start letting issues bubble to the surface all those things you once admired can quickly sour. Their tenacity turns to stubborness, their leadership skills become never-ending struggle for power.

Your perspective can change when circumstances change within a relationship. When one or both people stop caring and become complacent with the daily routine. When neither person fights for the sake of the relationship. When partners choose to take the magical glasses off as a result of resentments never spoken.

Then there’s the things you once hated about yourself.

Growing up, we are awkward and only see ourselves through the depiction others paint of us. Sometimes these are ugly and mean potraits of ourselves. You learn to hate your curly hair and your dorky glasses because someone once told you they were totally lame.

Years go by, you grow up… then suddenly those things you used to hide start coming back. You stop straightening your hair and covering up your freckles. You slowly stop caring about all those mean things people used to say about you and your appearance.

It’s because you have learned to look deep within yourself and see yourself for who you really are not what others tried to make you think you were. You gain confidence and your perspective of yourself shifts. You could say, the rose-colored glasses come on.

Your scars are representations of your journey. Your curly hair is now original. Your glasses are hip and funky. You start to appreciate every imperfection and wear it like a badge. Being the same as everyone is no longer cool. Being bold and different is what sets you apart from the herd now.

Both of these shifts happen as you learn and grow throughout your journey. Changing your perspective in a relationship can change everything you choose to see in your life partner and changing your perception of who you are as an individual can evolve over time as you learn who you truly are and what really matters most to you.

Things you used to love about someone can become those you hate if you grow apart. Things you used to hate about yourself are what now make you stand out and what make you geniunely YOU.

On thing is for sure, mental shifts are always happening. When it comes to relationships, you have to choose to grow together to avoid hating every thing you used to love. This choice is not always easy but it is part of the vows you made to eachother.

When it comes to you as an individual, you have to choose to love yourself and drown out all the other voices as they will never define you. Your choices, your actions, your values, your priorities, and your perception of yourself is what will always speak the loudest about who you truly are.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

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