Why What You Are Feeling is Always The Right Way to Feelfeatured

I remember once upon a time when I took on my first office job, I asked the CEO, “Why am I so emotional?” His response, in a nutshell, was that it was because I was a woman and women are more emotional than men.

Thinking back, everything about that moment was so so wrong. Me asking him what was wrong with me, to begin with. Me asking why my feelings kept getting in the way in a mostly chaotic environment. Me asking how I could be more like him rather than myself…

I did not grow up thinking that my feelings were normal, okay, or even something to closely pay attention to. My mom ignored all my tantrums because that was all she knew. I am not here to blame her for anything, she has come to understand the power of emotions – especially hers – all while finding her own voice.

I grew up hiding my fears in the dark basement of my heart. I learned how to smile when I was in the most pain and you could say that all played a big role in finding all my comfort in my writing. Paper doesn’t judge your feelings, it doesn’t think you are too anything – let alone too emotional.

I buried a lot of my feelings while growing up and they started to show up when I drank too much. If you know me well, you know there was a season in my life where I lost myself completely. It was as if I didn’t think I could feel anything unless I had a drink in my hand.

I know you can’t sit here all day and hear all about how I finally found myself, but I went through a journey to find myself and embrace all of the emotions that live within me.

Here are some of the things I have learned about emotions along the way:

• No emotion is ‘wrong’ – If you are feeling it, it is real. Do not let yourself or anyone else tell you what you are feeling is not real. If you are feeling a certain way, it is your right to feel it.
• Emotions are not women’s weaknesses, they are their superpower (they are like a 6th sense).
• Never let someone make you think you are being irrational because you feel ‘too much’. If you didn’t feel you would be a robot.
• Some of the most meaningful conversations are driven by emotion sharing.
• Emotions are what connect us as humans – if you are feeling something right now, someone else in the world is feeling the exact same way or has felt the exact same way at some point.
• Feel your feelings in a way that works for you – write, dance, sing in the shower, run, workout. When it feels like emotions are taking you over, let them flow through you in a way that feels good to you.

If all of the bullet points above are a little bit too much, please just walk away from this blog knowing what you feel is never wrong.

Connecting with the feelings within you means you are connecting with the things you have absorbed, learned, heard, seen, and experienced along your life journey.

Pushing them away doesn’t mean they go away, smiling when it hurts will never make you the hero but rather disconnects you from other humans, and telling someone their feelings are not real can break them.

All feelings are valid.

If you are a parent, a teacher, a brother, a partner, a friend, or a leader, let those around you know that their feelings will always be valid, their feelings are real, and most importantly, that sharing feelings with eachother can help make us all better humans.

Because if we can take the time to better understand the things that come up within our souls, we can better understand eachother and walk side-by-side on our journeys rather than collide against eachother on a daily basis.

Love Deeply and Forever,

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